Gretchen Rubin, The Four Tendencies

by Robyn Conley Downs on Sep 13, 2017 (last updated Oct 23, 2021) 0 comments »

We are diving into The Four Tendencies with Gretchen Rubin, and why knowing yourself is the way to a happy, healthy life.

Gretchen Rubin is one of the most influential writers on the linked subjects of habits, happiness, and human nature.

She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project.

A member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, Rubin has an enormous following, in print and online; her books have sold almost three million copies worldwide, and she has a highly ranked, award-winning podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

Guest Information

Website: gretchenrubin.com

Twitter: @gretchenrubin

Key Takeaways from this Episode

How she left a successful law career for writing.

Why it took Gretchen 10 years to become an overnight success.

The origin story of the Happiness Project, and why she focused on the practical daily life activities for health and happiness.

What “Be Gretchen” means, and why the only way to build a happy, healthy, creative, efficient life is to base it on the foundation of our own nature, our own values, our own interests, our own temperament.

There is no magic one-size fits all solution.

We are mostly alike but the differences are so important.

Sometimes things work, sometimes they don’t and it’s not your fault.

Why it’s so hard to know yourself. There’s the way we wish we were, the way other people wish we were, and our assumptions about what people are like.

Using the laws of distinction to describe our differences.

What did you love to do when you were 10 years old, what do you lie about (which means there’s a disconnect between you life and your values), who do you envy?

Shining a spotlight on hidden patterns and lending a vocabulary.

What to do when you’re telling yourself “I should.”

The Four Tendencies and how you respond to outer and inner expectations.

The difference between Upholder, Questioners, Obligers, Rebels.

Diving into the challenges and positives of each tendency.

Why it doesn’t work to try to change your tendency.

Why “should” is a trigger. It’s only what I can do, what I will do, and what works for me.

Why September is the new January